Moving forward after leaving a narcissistic or unhealthy relationship can be an uphill battle. The scars of abuse may have left you grappling with anxiety, stress, and a diminished sense of self-worth, obstructing your ability to view yourself in a positive light.

It's important to recognize that even before entering that relationship, you may have already carried self-doubt and insecurities. Sadly, this toxic connection merely reinforced those beliefs you held deep within.

When we exit a relationship, we often carry unhealed wounds and unresolved emotions into our future encounters. Trust becomes a challenging hurdle to overcome, as we learn from painful experiences and internalise the idea that people cannot be relied upon. The trauma endured during these unhealthy relationships can manifest as post-traumatic stress disorder, unless we take steps to heal our wounds.

One of the most significant consequences of an unhealthy relationship is giving away your power. With past wounds and insecurities, you may have unknowingly surrendered control over your own identity. Allowing someone else to define who you are leaves you vulnerable and dependent, paving the way for dysfunction. 

Until you awaken and prioritise your mental and emotional 

well-being, the cycle of abuse may persist.

If you are healthy and have a strong sense of self, your standards are elevated, and you understand your own worth. This fortitude shields you from entering into unhealthy relationships. However, if you carry the weight of past traumas and remain unhealed, you are likely to attract individuals who are similarly broken, albeit in different ways.

These individuals may exploit, abandon, and hurt you, further reinforcing the notion that people cannot be trusted. In hindsight, a healthy person would have recognised the red flags and set boundaries, acknowledging that relationships require effort from both parties. However, in your case, you took on all the blame, continuously trying to fix things without evaluating whether this person was truly compatible with your aspirations and desires. You cannot be the sole force mending a relationship.

Due to your desire for control and the willingness to try, you may have repeatedly overlooked red flags. Each disappointment and instance of abuse contributed to a story you vowed never to experience again. This narrative connected your pain to that specific relationship and potentially tainted your perception of others as well. When your mind associates vulnerability with pain, it indicates a lack of self-care during those difficult moments. This is what fosters the belief that people cannot be trusted.

Consequently, walls come up, and the fear of intimacy and vulnerability takes hold. However, it's essential to understand that it's not the outside world that should instil fear within us. Even when leading a healthy life, pain remains an inevitable part of the human experience. The crucial aspect lies in learning how to cope with that pain, establishing standards, self-confidence, and self-worth. Once you recognise that the stories you've created are not realities but products of your past and fears, you can begin to break free from their grasp and carry less trauma into your future.

Releasing the burden of the past is an integral part of your mental health journey. While it's natural to learn valuable lessons through pain, you now have the opportunity to determine how you handle situations and whether you continue to heal. Embracing the understanding that trust begins with trusting yourself, you can navigate relationships from a place of strength. This means knowing your thoughts, feelings, and relationship needs while being able to comfort and support yourself.

Ultimately, this pursuit embodies the essence of mental health. Once equipped with these skills, the power of choice is restored to you. Instead of being guided by past wounds, you become the author of your own destiny, empowered to select partners based on your genuine desires and aspirations.